Notebook Fragment 1

from a short story

The Lantern Parade by Thomas Cooper Gotch

Sometimes, before drifting off to sleep, I picture some far off scene I can’t account for. It exists entirely within me, not belonging to anything in the world, idea or place. It starts off as a distant light that grows and grows until it is everything, all around me. I only get a glimpse of this before I’m asleep. To stay there, conscious, awake, has been a dream of mine since childhood. It is the sole remaining facet of that time in my life. I hold onto it with the knowledge that it too could cease to exist at any moment. I know the night will come when the light doesn’t appear and I won’t even know to miss it.